


The Gift in Goodbye

by DarkAngelOfSorrowReturns



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Memories, Mourning, Prompt Fic, Sadness, graves, inner thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 14:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13148826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAngelOfSorrowReturns/pseuds/DarkAngelOfSorrowReturns
Summary: Theodore brought on the gifts as promised; unfortunately, he had to recount the reasons why he had to say goodbye at the same time.





	The Gift in Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Written for HSWW (Challenges and Assignments), THC, and QLFC on Fanfiction.net
> 
> (THC) House: Hufflepuff; Category: Short Story; Prompt: Family Tradition
> 
> (QLFC) Team: Wimbourne Wasps; Position: Keeper; Prompt: 'write a tragic story on an autumn night(s)'
> 
> (HSWW) Assignment #7 Care of Magical Creatures Task 1: write about someone throwing objects for some reason.
> 
> Showtime: 19. Chromaggia - (situation) letting go of something
> 
> Year in Entertainment: Book- Corduroy by Don Freeman - (object) Button
> 
> Head Canon #9: Theodore Nott had five younger siblings (and his mother) that died due ti a magical illness that manifested in the womb after Theodore was born - Butter (Slytherin Buttercat)
> 
> Count Your Buttons: "Carry On" by Fun (song insp.), Teddy Bear (object), Cascade (word)
> 
> Word Count: 2,425

The moon was glowing brightly in the sky, presenting its light for the man sitting atop a rock on the bank. Wind fluttered through his tousled, brown hair as he stared at the water in front of him.

Theodore Nott sighed heavily and adjusted the satchel he wore that was full of his most prized possessions. He was starting a new Nott tradition on this autumn night.

He thought about why he had the contents in the bag in the first place; his thoughts taking him back to the very beginning.

_His eyes were wide, curiously staring at his mother lying in the bed. Her skin was pasty and pale; her chocolate-brown hair matted to her face. Her eyes were narrowed, but Theodore could see the tears threatening to spill out._

" _Mother?" he called, pressing his small hands on the bed. His mother immediately went into a coughing fit, causing Theodore to back away in fear. He fell backwards, hitting the chair behind him and started to cry._

_He didn't understand what was making his mother look that way, and he couldn't help her. That made him feel worse._

Had he known what he knew now, Theodore would have tried anything to change the course of history.

Unfortunately, things didn't work that way in his favor. Grabbing some small pebbles on the ground, Theodore tossed a few in the water, watching the ripples spread as they sank in the shallow water.

_Time had passed, and Theodore once again saw his mother become ill. Only this time, her belly was round with his little sister. Theodore was confused because he thought babies were supposed to stay in their mother's stomachs for more months, but the thought slipped to the back of his mind as he watched from the door as she coughed and cried in pain. His face was solemn as he looked down at the pink teddy bear he was holding by its arm._

_Looking back up to his mother, Theodore figured that he could give his baby sister her present after everything was settled, so he left._

_Later that evening, Theodore was given the tragic news that his sister wasn't going to come. He held the bear close in his arms and cried._

An assortment of red, yellow, and brown leaves danced by Theodore's face as they fell from the trees and were blown away by the wind. He chuckled bitterly at the memory of losing his baby sister; sadly, she wasn't the last one.

He couldn't help but look inside the bag at the other present he wasn't able to deliver in time.

Theodore shook his head and skipped a rock into the water. It skipped three times, the same amount of years it took for his heart to break again.

_Theodore couldn't go to his mother's room; he had heard the shouting and cries. It was the same time as before, and Theodore understood that something bad was happening again._

_Looking at the case of green and blue buttons he had collected for his baby brother's special quilt, Theodore sighed sadly; every time he hoped for another sibling, the dream was taken away from him._

_Why did they have to be taken away from him?_

Theodore still asked himself that to this day; why did they have to be taken away? Other children his age had siblings—it seemed that every family they knew had more than one child. He wanted the same and he couldn't have it.

It hurt to think about, but he had to. It was his purpose here, after all. Until he completed his mission, Theodore would sit quietly, skipping rocks across the water as the memories played through his mind.

_A year later, his mother and father were overjoyed at the thought of a baby making it to full term. Theodore had figured that whatever had made his mother so sick and lose his brother or sister was over, so he wanted to present his brother with a quilt._

_It looked exactly like an eleven-year-old made it—holes in certain areas with fabric oversewn in other areas. What was important to Theodore was that he made it blue and that his brother would fit in it, so it was a masterpiece in his eyes._

_As he made his way excitedly to his parents' room, Theodore heard rough coughing and sobs coming from inside. His shoulders slumped, and the excited expression on his face fell._

_Looking down at the quilt, he wondered if he had done a better job on it, would his brother still be coming?_

_At least he had his upcoming first year in Hogwarts to shroud his mind from the pain._

Hogwarts did help Theodore, but it didn't take away the pain when he saw others with their happy families. He'd always had faith that he'd get the family he wanted, but as the years passed, his faith was shaken.

As he skipped two more stones, Theodore shifted his tall, lanky form on the rock so he could throw the pebbles a longer distance.

_Four years passed. Theodore moved on from the loss of his sister and brothers, and his parents tried for another baby for the fourth time. He heard Healers coming and going from her room, telling her that everything would be fine. No one could understand what was making her have miscarriages. Theodore wanted to believe that everything would turn out fine but didn't want to have his hopes too high._

_Unfortunately, he did. Over the summer, Theodore had spent two full weeks gathering Chocolate Frog cards when he learned that he had another opportunity for a baby brother. His mind was so wrapped into the idea of getting the cards for his brother that he forgot about the tragedy that came with it every time._

_His memory was quickly restored when he found the pool of blood in the study and his mother was lying on the ground crying in pain._

_Theodore rushed to his mother and held her hand. It was the first time he made contact with her while it happened. He stared into her narrowed eyes as tears cascaded down her cheek. Her belly was round enough, yet it was like it was deflating by the second._

_The image would be forever burned in his mind._

Seeing his mother on the floor again in his mind made Theodore toss one of the stones angrily; he'd felt utterly powerless on that day.

There was always the thought, ' _If only I could have done something…'_

Yet he couldn't, so he didn't.

He felt like the pebbles he threw, skipping away with no purpose.

_Theodore was always tinkering with things when he was home for the summer, and when he received word that his sister going to be born before he arrived home, he immediately set to work on making something perfect._

_In his mind, if it was perfect, then the curse on his mother would finally end. What he hadn't had in mind was the thought that he wouldn't even get to finish his musical ballerina before he caught the sound of her agonizing screams._

_Frustrated, Theodore took the ballerina and tossed it against the wall. The shattering of the glass reached his ears, and he gripped his mop of brown hair. He aggressively kicked at his desk in his room._

_After a while, he stopped and took deep breaths to calm down. Realizing that he'd ruined his sister's toy, Theodore immediately scrambled for his wand to fix what he had broken._

_He couldn't allow himself to make things worse by not completing his gift, even if she wouldn't receive it._

Theodore took the bag off his shoulder and reached for a few more stones to throw. Only a few more would occupy his time before he forced himself to complete the task.

He gripped the small, gritty objects before tossing them into the water.

_With his father taken away by the Aurors, things were quieter and more peaceful. He couldn't fault his father about much; losing five children would hurt anyone beyond repair._

_It had taken all his strength for Theodore to remain sane while he communicated with his mother as frequently as he could. After losing his sister three years ago, he thought his mother would pick her health back up like she always did._

_Apparently, fate had other plans because she began to degenerate at a slow, excruciating rate. Theodore did as much as he could to make her comfortable in the family manor, but eventually, she had to be taken to St. Mungo's. There, they informed them about the truth behind the past twenty years._

_She had a magical illness that established in her womb after Theodore was born. It had been slowly eating away at her body, targeting the rapidly developing cells of the fetus each time she'd carried a baby. They thought it to be the result of an unrecognizable curse—something they'd never tested her for._

_When Theodore heard that they'd never properly examined her for signs of Dark Magic, he'd snapped and lost his temper at the Healers, screaming curses and insults all around._

_It took them a while to completely calm Theodore so he could visit his mother. When he looked inside, he couldn't believe that it was his mother. Her skin was grey and her veins were visible; it looked like she was simply fading away before his eyes._

_Theodore choked back a sob before rushing in toward his mother. He knelt at the side of the bed and held her hand. There weren't any words that he could muster, so he let his hands do the comforting and talking._

" _Promise me, Theo…" his mother said softly._

" _Mother?" Theodore said. "Whatever it is, I'll do it."_

" _I know…" she coughed out, "...I know you still...have their...gifts…"_

_Theodore nodded; he had no reason to deny it. "Do you want to see them?"_

_She gave him a weak smile. "Yes...promise me that...you'll let...me see them…"_

_He kissed her knuckles. "You have my word."_

_After coughing again, his mother hummed. "Thank you. I'm...sorry I couldn't...give you the family...you always wanted..."_

_Theodore swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "You can't blame yourself for this," he told her fiercely. "None of this is your fault."_

_A single tear fell down her cheek before she weakly managed to utter out a final statement. "I...love you...Theo…"_

_Theodore wiped the tear away from her face and smiled sadly. "I love you, Mother."_

_She gave a final faint smile before her eyes closed. The grip she held on Theodore's hand loosened as her chest didn't rise anymore._

" _M-Mother?" he called out. When she didn't answer, he knew that he had lost her too. He did the only thing his body would allow him; Theodore slumped over her body and cried._

He cleared his throat and looked at the open, dark waters. The waves moved so peacefully that it eased Theodore's mind a bit to think that his mother and siblings were going to have an untroubled journey.

He moved off the rock and away from the bank, walking towards his mother's headstone some steps away. He read 'Beloved Wife and Mother' and cleared his throat.

"M-Mother…" Theodore croaked out. He coughed and blinked away the tears that were starting to form. "Mother, it's good to see you now."

His hand caressed her tombstone and he looked at the items he brought with him. "I'm back within the year, as promised with all of my p-presents." He took a deep breath. "I brought you one too, because I knew you would like it."

Theodore took out a locket; he could hear the ticking in sync with the beating of his heart. He opened the pendant in the locket that revealed a beautiful portrait of his mother. Her black hair fell softly on her shoulders and her dark eyes were alive with warmth. Her cheeks were a natural rose color and not the sickly pale look that he'd constantly seen when he lost yet another sibling.

"I charmed it to never rust," he said while glancing at the stone. "And I'll make sure no one touches it, I swear." Theodore let the locket slip through his fingers to land in front of his mother's tombstone.

Afterwards, Theodore took the gifts he had gathered for each of his fallen siblings and placed them all in front of their respective stones.

The ballerina was silver and spun with soft music as he placed it down.

The box of Chocolate Frog cards glimmered from the golden shine that reflected with the moonlight. He put it in its rightful place.

Theodore couldn't help but laugh as he folded the quilt he'd poorly made and set it down.

The green and blue buttons were seen in their transparent container as he placed it on its respected tombstone.

He couldn't hold in the tears after putting the pink bear in front of his first baby sister's headstone; his heart couldn't bear the cord being struck any longer.

He crumpled to his knees and poured the rest of his sorrows out into the leaves piling up around him. His hand reached out and grabbed a handful of the leaves, crushing them between his fists. His eyes burned with tears of anger and sorrow.

Theodore roared and slammed his fists in the leaves. "No!" He shouted. "No! No! No!" His fist hit the ground with each exclamation. He shifted his legs and sobbed. "What did we do to deserve this?" Theodore rasped out. "My family...my mother...are we paying for my father's sins or my own?"

With a shaky hand, Theodore used the closest tombstone for leverage and attempted to stand. Once he succeeded, Theodore stared at the six stones dedicated for the pieces of his heart that would never heal.

He let out a breath, seeing the puffs formed in the night. His head tilted up to stare at the sky, watching the stars twinkling. Theodore saw some of the stars shining brighter than the others, six stars in particular. He laughed in disbelief, shaking his head. "I love you all as well."

Sniffing, Theodore shoved his hands in his pockets and trekked away from the burial plots. The chilly wind kissed his cheek on his way up the path; Theodore believed that it was his mother kissing him goodnight.

He puffed out his chest with the small boost of confidence; he knew that once he did this the first time, the tradition would become easier with time.


End file.
